People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks?
How many observe Christ’s birthday, how few his precepts. ~ Ben Franklin
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. ~ Jewish Proverb
Do what you think is right in your heart. You’ll be criticized anyway. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Life is a preparation for the future; and the best preparation for the future is to live as if there were none. ~ Albert Einstein
Your day will go the way the corners of your mouth turn.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. ~ Erma Bombeck
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. ~ Winnie The Pooh
When someone doesn’t like something, it’s often because they’re not familiar with it, or they’re too familiar with it.
Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but only God can count the number of apples in a seed.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re about average.
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. ~ Mark Twain
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You’re not out of it until the computer says you’re out of it. ~Erma Bombeck
There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother’s age. ~ Benjamin Spock
I never realized until lately that women were supposed to be the inferior sex. ~ Katharine Hepburn